My father became ill. He requires a caregiver but does not comprehend his medical condition to make this decision.

Q: I have power of attorney on his bank account to pay his ordinary expenses; may I also withdraw money to pay for his medical care without obtaining permission from him?

A: Shulchan Aruch (C.M. 348:1) rules that the prohibition to steal applies even if one intends to benefit the victim; for instance, to steal money in a manner that obligates repayment of kefel, double the stolen amount (Sma ibid. 3). Seemingly, this principle applies in this case as well. Although your intent to withdraw money without permission is to pay for your father’s medical care, it is prohibited to steal.

Nevertheless, there are several principles permitting you to spend your father’s money on his care. One is the halacha of an apotropos – a legal guardian. If a person does not have the faculties to make decisions for himself, one may become a self-appointed apotropos to oversee his needs (see C.M. 290:24). Since a child’s obligation to honor his parents does not require him to spend his own money, a child can become the apotropos for his parents’ needs and is permitted to spend his parents’ money to provide for their needs (Pischei Choshen Geneivah 1:[15], Yerushah 5:[11]). 

In a circumstance in which a parent mistakenly thinks he can take care of his needs, there is another principle that permits the child to spend his parents’ money. The relevant principle is yored l’sdei chavero that obligates the beneficiary to pay for benefit he received even though it was not requested (C.M. 375). Since the caregiver provides benefit for the parent, he must be paid. The parent’s protest is irrelevant, since he is incapable of comprehending this need (Meishiv B’halachah 27).

Another factor that permits a child to spend his parents’ money on their care is the embarrassment for the family if the parent is not properly cared for (Y.D. 252:11).  

Finally, the Aruch Hashulchan (Y.D. 253:17) writes that if a well-to-do person does not care for himself such that he will become ill, one should provide him with food and then collect payment from him. Similarly, if a parent requires medical treatments but refuses to pay, the children may provide the treatment and collect money to cover those expenses (Tzedakah Umishpat 2:[56]).

In summary, there is a solid halachic basis to permit you to spend your father’s money for his care as it is needed even if he resists paying for it. However, care must be taken to limit the expenditure for necessary care only.