Mr. Samuel Scherr was a very successful businessman who generously gave of his wealth to others.

On his twentieth wedding anniversary, two of his married nephews came to visit him. Shlomo had a comfortable job, while Dan was in a difficult financial state. Mr. Scherr served some drinks and they shared a l’chaim.

Mr. Scherr was in a good mood. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give you each a check for $10,000,” he said to his two nephews. “Ten and ten is twenty, just like the years of our harmonious marriage!”

“Thanks, Uncle Sam,” Dan and Shlomo exclaimed. “That’s really nice of you!” They walked out happily, each dreaming of how they might spend the sudden windfall.

The following day, Shlomo and Dan returned to Mr. Scherr’s office. After talking a little, Shlomo said, “Yesterday you said that each of us would receive $10,000.”

“I know, but when I reviewed my accounts last night, I decided that it was too much,” Mr. Scherr replied apologetically. “And how will my other nephews feel when they hear about this? I’m going to have to cut it down to $3,000 each.”

“You’re backing out?” asked Dan. “We were hoping to use this to cover the kids’ summer programs!”

“But I only said that I was going to give it to you,” said Mr. Scherr. “I didn’t confirm it with any contract, handshake or other means of kinyan (act of acquisition).”

“What about upholding your word?” said Shlomo. “You’re known from your business dealings to be a man of your word!”

“I think this is a little different,” said Mr. Scherr. “It’s not a mutual business agreement; it’s all from the good of my heart.”

“What’s the difference?” asked Dan. “A word is a word whether it’s a gift or a business deal.”

“It feels different to me,” said Mr. Scherr.

“I heard that you started attending the business halacha shiurim given by Rabbi Dayan,” said Shlomo. “What would he say about this?”

“I wonder also,” said Mr. Scherr. “Why don’t you join me this week, and we can ask him.”

“Will do,” said Shlomo and Dan. “See you there.”

After the shiur, the three went over to Rabbi Dayan.

Mr. Scherr asked: “Am I required to uphold my commitment to give each nephew $10,000?”

“You are required to give Dan the full $10,000,” replied Rabbi Dayan, “but you can recant from giving Shlomo if you feel it appropriate.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” said Shlomo. “Why is that?”

“For any transaction to be legally binding, there must be an appropriate kinyan; usually, verbal agreements alone are not legally enforceable,” explained Rabbi Dayan. “However, a person is expected to uphold even his verbal commitments. If he does not do so, he is called ‘mechusar amanah’ - untrustworthy (C.M. 204:7).”

“I don’t want to be considered ‘untrustworthy,’” said Mr. Scherr. “Does this apply also to gifts?”

“Since gifts are one-sided, there is a difference between a small gift and a large gift,” answered Rabbi Dayan. “When a person commits to a small gift, the recipient fully expects the donor to provide the gift. Therefore, if the donor recants, he is called ‘untrustworthy.’ However, if the person committed to a large gift, the recipient remains doubtful whether the donor will, in fact, carry through. Ten thousand dollars is a large gift, so you would not be considered ‘untrustworthy’ if you recant (C.M. 204:8; 249:1). A person may not speak deceitfully, though, and offer something when he is not sincere at the time about giving it (Pischei Choshen, Kinyanim 15:4[4]).”

“So why must Uncle Sam give me the full $10,000?” asked Dan.

“When the recipient is needy, the promise of a gift is considered a commitment to tzedakah,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “There is a separate requirement to uphold a tzedakah pledge, derived from the word ‘b’ficha’ (R.H. 6a). Therefore, a person who committed even a large gift to a poor person may not recant (Y.D. 259:12; C.M. 125:5).”